Monday, July 15, 2019

How to handle a divorce

This is a sponsored post for Diamond Links. 

Getting married can be one of the most beautiful experiences. No one plans on getting married to get divorced. When you get divorced, it can be a very difficult experience. If you have children, it can be confusing and hard on them. You can raise happy kids after a divorce. As someone who is divorced, I understand first hand what it is like to finally decide that a marriage is over. It isn’t something to decide lightly. I also don’t believe you should stick around if you are miserable. 

Reasons for divorce are personal. There isn’t always a check list you can check off to see if it’s something you should do. There are some reasons, in my opinion that are definite grounds for divorce like domestic violence and infidelity. Knowing that your marriage is over isn’t always an easy thing to accept.

 Sometimes people stay married out of fear or even because it’s comfortable. If it’s fear, I will tell you first hand that getting out was the most freeing experience for me. Fear isn’t a reason to stay married. You can find help and the courage to leave. I also can understand if you feel comfortable and you don’t really want to start over. If you have kids, they can sense you are unhappy. No one plans on it happening. You just have to move forward. It’s tough and it stinks. You can do it and be happier. 

I actually know several people who are married and so unhappy with their spouses, but won’t do anything about it. I understand, but at the same time, I am like either make the best of it or leave. Being unhappy can lead to infidelity because someone is looking for someone to fulfill needs that aren’t being met at home. They are looking for an escape. 

It’s important to get a divorce attorney because even if you think your divorce is amicable, it might not stay that way. Money does some weird things to people. It may start out smooth, but become rocky very quickly. My ex husband and I fought over the tv and a washer and dryer.   The washer and dryer were a wedding present from his mom, just because it was from his mom didn’t mean he got to keep it. For the record, I ended up with both the tv and the washer and dryer. 

You want to make sure your needs are being met. You need to protect your interests. You need to make sure your children are taken care of. You don’t want to just go into divorce blindly. I didn’t have a divorce attorney when I was divorced. We did everything ourselves. I wish I would have at least consulted an attorney over a few things. 

All of your terms of your divorce is in your divorce decree. This is where you list your assets, debts and property. You will also figure out custody. If you don’t have many assets, you will want a divorce attorney for custody and child support. This is when you figure out who pays what and who has the children when. Most of the time, what is in your divorce decree is it. You usually only get one bite of the apple. Of course you can request to modify custody and support but as far as assets and debts go, this is what decides what is what. 

A divorce attorney like Quinn & Lynch, P.A can also help you file your paperwork. When I was getting divorced, my ex husband actually paid for divorce forms online. When I filed the forms, it wasn’t even the right paperwork. He wasted his money, I had to go to a law library in the courthouse and find the right forms and fill them out again. The correct forms were free. My ex wasted his money. I may or may not had a silent giggle. If I would have had a divorce attorney, that wouldn’t have happened. 

If you have been married a long time, it is extra important to have a divorce attorney. You are separating your lives in half. If you have properties, who gets to keep them, are you selling the house? This  isn’t a situation where you are like you take yourself and I will take mine. You can have accumulated things over the years. It’s not an easy situation but hopefully a divorce attorney will be able to make it a bit easier. 

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