Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Don't Sexually Harass Me!

I wrote about sexual harassment several years ago about a man named Bob. I felt like it was time to talk about it again. This time I will not be telling you a story about a person I knew. However I will be sharing with you my thoughts and feelings about sexual harassment. First, sexual harassment is not funny. You don't make sexual comments about any person unless it's a significant other with their permission. If you wouldn't say it to your parent or grandparents, do not say it to someone else. It's rude. It's disrespectful and it's wrong. I don't care what your beliefs are, you should respect others at all times.

Secondly, it’s not a joke. I don't think anyone would like it if their parent or adult child would have that said to them. Most of us are parents. I am someone's mom. I am a daughter. It's not a compliment. No one likes to feel like a piece of meat. No one likes to have comments made about them like that. It doesn't make people feel good or feel attractive. They don't like the attention. They are mortified. They want to disappear.  They want you to stop. People are not put on this Earth to be treated like crap. By sexualizing a person you are robbing them of their dignity and self-worth. Every time you make a comment you are stealing a piece of their self-esteem. After a while there's nothing left.  You are a sexual predator. It's worse when the person who does this is married. It gives a whole new layer of how wrong it is. Sexual harassment is not just a single thing. It's not a married thing, it's not a man thing. It's not a woman thing. It's not a particular race or age or anything thing. It's a creep thing. It's someone who feels bad about themselves that they have to sexually harass someone to make themselves feel desirable. We need to take a stand and not put up with it anymore. It's not cool.

I am upset that if you do this in the workplace it's illegal. I totally believe it should be, please understand this but if someone makes a lewd gesture or says something sexual it's not really a crime. It could eventually become harassment at some point by law. I do understand that the jails would be overcrowded with these offenders so it would be really tough. It doesn't matter what a person looks like, how their body looks, if they have big breasts or whatever they may have. They aren't open for sexual comments and gestures. Some women have bigger breasts or bottoms than others. Some can't help that. It doesn't matter what they are wearing, it's not an invitation for you to comment or stare. I think that some guys are misinformed about women. No we don't want to be talked to like that. We are not objects for you to lust over. Thankfully, there are men out there that don't do this. There are great men who value women. I am not sure how a parent allows their adult child to treat another person like that. If my son did it, he would be in big trouble. I wouldn't care if he was 45 and I was in my sixties. It won't happen. I'm not blaming their parents of course. It just doesn't make sense to me.

I notice this a lot on dating sites. Of course you may not find the crème de la crème of men or women on there. If you’re a single parent who works from home you don't go out a lot. You look for conversation about grown up things. You can only talk about Star Wars and Minecraft for so long. You want to talk about other things. Even if you have no interest in becoming romantically involved you still deserve respect. I believe when you make unwanted sexual advances towards someone you are abusing them. You make them feel bad about themselves. You make them feel sad and useless. You can almost break their spirits. It doesn't matter if it's a stranger or if it's a person you have known for years. Some ask for sexual favors in exchange for favors. That’s not OK. Even if you are claiming you are just joking. It’s wrong. I was always taught that you do favors for people because you want to help them. You don’t do them to get something in return. You don’t do them to benefit. Especially when someone genuinely needs help.  You are not owed something to help someone. Even if you feel that you are, it shouldn’t be sexual. If we all kept track of all the nice things we ever did to others, we would be owed a lot. Give to Give. Help to Help. To play devil’s advocate, the person might be lonely. They may have a hard home life. They may just want to feel desired or wanted. Making sexual advances is not the way to do that. Work out your problems with your significant other, go to counseling or end your relationship.  Please don’t look elsewhere and make someone else feel bad. I know misery loves company but no one wants to share in that.  

There's also those who use people by leading them on. They have no interest in having a relationship with the other person. They get what they want through lies and empty promises. It's hard to accept when that is happening especially when they are feeding you everything you wanna hear. Those are the people who prey on those who were abused and maybe have low self-worth.  It goes back to the anything is better than nothing theory. I can tell you and promise you that it's not. It's not better. I promise its worse. Loneliness sucks badly. It's better to be lonely than have the person who you think loves you lying to you and using you.

You have the right to be loved. You have the right to hold your head high. You have the right to feel good about yourself. You are not a piece of meat. You are not defined by how many people you have been with or the choices you made in the past. You are beautiful and amazing. Anyone who thinks otherwise, well that's their problem.

I sincerely hope that this post gives someone the strength to stand up and say enough is enough.

No comments:

Post a Comment