Friday, March 23, 2012

Why I Have Really Bad Car Anixety

The first car accident I was in, we were going to Target with my grandma Rose. It was January 2003, and we were rear ended by a teenage girl. I was the first accident I had ever been in and it wasn’t that bad. No one really had any injuries although we were checked out by the paramedics. It was really hard for the paramedics to ask my grandma the normal what day of the week, who is the president questions because her Alzheimer’s Disease was advanced. My second car accident was really bad. I know I wrote a little about it before. After the second accident, I had all sorts of problems. We were T-boned on my door. I had taken the full impact. I was beaten up and pretty much left to fend for myself. I was staying with my friend because I had apartment issues. Somehow, I was living there, even though I had my own apartment, and that meant I wasn’t able to really get any of her insurance benefits. She was found at fault. I am not sure if that was legal for them to do that or not. I definitely was entitled to pain and suffering and lost wages because I wasn’t able to start my job. When I called the insurance company, they told me I had to sue her. I was dumbfounded really, I mean she had been my best friend for over 15 years at this point. I remember saying to them so I have to get an accident lawyer and sue my best friend? I was really angry, and in pain, I mean I was the one who was actually hurt in the accident. I was lucky that I didn’t break anything because it could have been really bad. I had never really had any experience with lawyers because I had never even been in an accident at work where I would have needed a workers comp lawyer.

I know that both my old best friend and the other driver received a bunch of money, and I received none. It took them a couple years to even pay my medical bills. So, I received the phone calls asking for payment. I am not really sure why the insurance company felt like I deserved nothing. I wish I would have sued her. I say that not because of the money or because we were in a fight, but because I still have car anxiety. I still freak out in the car. It’s pretty embarrassing and I can’t really help it. I probably should have been able to get counseling. I am still severely affected to this day. I have always been kind of apprehensive when it comes to cars and motorcycles. I just chose not to drive and not to ride a motorcycle.

When I found out that in New Hampshire where my best friend Brandy lives they don’t have to wear motorcycle helmets, I thought that was extremely dangerous and that there are a lot of motorcycle accidents. I know here there is one motorcycle accident lawyer that I know of from their ads but there must be tons where she lives. I think that it’s silly not to wear a helmet when you are on a motorcycle, but people do it all the time and it often leads to serious accidents and even death. Please be careful on the roads and if you ride a motorcycle wear a helmet and always wear your seat belt, it could save your life.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Win a Cuisinart Smart Stick from Kitchen Blossom




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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Get Baby Naming Help with Baby Ballot

One of the most important decisions you have to make when you find out you are having a child is what their name will be.  Some parents choose to honor a loved one by naming a child after them, some use traditional family names and some just pick names that they heard from TV or came up with from a baby book.  No matter where you get the inspiration for your child’s name it is something that will be with them for forever so it really is a big decision to make.  You can’t really change it once you name them. Sure you can call them by their middle name, which is common when the name Mary is used.  On my mom’s side of the family using a middle name as a first name is somewhat of a tradition.

Sometimes parents have a whole list of names for their baby to choose from. Picking just one name can be hard, especially when you and your spouse prefer different names as the one.  Parents can spend hours thinking about and debating on what name is perfect for their child. When I was born, the sex of a baby wasn’t normally something you found out, so you had to have a name for both. I know some parents don’t find out, but most do. There are many different ways to come up with a solution, like drawing names out of a hat. I have noticed with the popularity of social media and the internet, parents are turning to sites like Baby Ballot. Baby Ballot is a really cool website, where you can share your favorite names with your family and friends and they can vote for their favorite baby name. They also give you a huge list of names for ideas.  I really love all the  names on the girls page.  That way you can cut down some of the stress by having your friends help you make that decision.  It’s a fun thing to do and a way that family can help that live far away and might not have the opportunity to be right there to help with doctor’s appointments or to help with the housework.

For more information visit Baby Ballot.  Be sure to check out the Team Page too at http://babynames.net/team to learn more about the people who worked so hard to make this possible.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Win this Awesome Tote Diaper Bag from ModParent





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Thursday, March 15, 2012

Online Mean Girls

I originally wrote this post in Summer or early Fall of 2011, I just hadn't posted it because I had the wrong year on my scheduled post.

Do you remember in high school all the cliques? There were jocks, nerds, Goths, skaters, gangtas etc. Then there were the mean girls. I don’t really remember there being a certain group of mean girls.  I mean there were people that were mean but they weren’t mean to everyone. High school is full of catty witches that cause all kinds of drama. There is a possibility there could have been, I went to a huge high school. I didn’t even know everyone in my class. There were over 4,000 kids in my school and over 800 in my class.  I bet you are wondering what I was.  I was me, I didn’t have a specific group, I was friends with all kinds of people. I didn’t discriminate. I would dress however I felt that day. It might have been something from Abercrombie, or a tie dyed shirt and corduroys ‘, or really baggy jeans. I really tried to just be myself.  I didn’t really care what anyone thought of me.  I was kind of weird I guess, but I have always been unique.

I had my moments where I was mean to others, I think we all do. I had been pretty mean in my past but it wasn’t a constant thing, I don’t think. Usually I was nice in school, for the most part; I am not going to say I was an angel because that would be a total lie. Now, that I am an adult, I decided not to be mean anymore, not to not like someone because someone else doesn’t and you feel that false sense of loyalty. I can definitely say that I have grown up, but then you have those cases where the meanness never really went away.

I want to tell you a story about a group of women I encountered.  I am not saying it was the whole group of them; I don’t want to label them all. I know that there are some really nice women in this group, but there are some that make me upset.  Many of the interactions with the select group were just like being in Jr. High again but with 30 and 40 year old women. Have you seen the Subway commercials where they have the adults with the kid voices, it was kind of like that. I originally joined the group because I started scrapbooking and I found it one night and decided to join. At first all the women were really nice, kind of maybe too nice.  I really enjoyed going there, until I started to notice the drama. Now I am not talking about drama where someone is “trolling” trying to start drama, but it seemed like if you didn’t really agree with the majority, it was a bad thing.  We are all entitled to our opinions you know.  It wasn’t even really anything major like world issues, it was like ridiculous things like things that didn’t even matter, something like fabric softener brands.  I can’t really remember a good example.  

Some of the moderators were horrible, and would say hurtful and mean things to the members. I was friends with a few of the moderators so I knew about what happened behind the scenes. I knew that they would talk crap about people on their super secret moderator board.  They shouldn’t be able to do that, it shouldn’t be allowed.  My understanding of a moderator is someone who is there to help and keep the peace, not add more fuel to the fire and egg the fights or arguments on.  I think that some of the moderators grossly abused their rights and responsibility.  Those who had issues, would private message one of the administrators, and no matter what the issue was they would always stand by their moderators, even if they said something like “if you don’t like it you can leave.”  I am not sure that is helpful or caring, or the way things should be run at all.

I felt like there were a lot of repeat discussions about topics that we already knew at least twice that it would start an argument.  It seemed like it was on a cycle for example, oh we haven’t talked about food stamps lately and so it’s time to do that and stir the pot.  It wasn’t as if it was a new member asking or bringing it up. It would be the moderators or the owner of the site.  If it were me I would try and nip things in the bud before it got bad, as it always had.  Another thing about the group is the moderators would talk about illegal activity, such as reusing stamps that were not properly canceled out off letters or packages.  Who steals stamps? It is ridiculous, and illegal and in my opinion wrong. Maybe that is why stamp prices keep going up.  Stamps are not that expensive, sure they might add up, but if you can’t afford to send something like scrapbooking supplies than it is ok to not participate.

I know with the scrapbooking, I felt like every other day they wanted money for something, which was weird for being a money saving group.  They called them “donations”. I am not sure if they pocketed most of the money and just gave out prizes of stuff they didn’t want from the clearance bin from the craft store. None of the prizes were ever anything really worth “winning”, it was usually just a few little items that were never useful.  I never donated. I didn’t know what would happen to my “donation.”  I didn’t really participate in the challenges though so, it doesn’t really matter. I would have preferred to take my $5 or $10 and buy some useful stuff instead of a couple paper flower cut outs and 6 inches of ribbon.

I know that there are some great women, that I am still friends with after leaving the group.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they were reprimanded by the leader of the group for it. I can be an outspoken person when it comes to issues that I believe in, if it involves children or anyone in general. I am known to speak my mind and not keep it to myself like a good little mindless drone.  I will express my feelings and say something, and if you didn’t fit in to that little cookie cutter, then well your opinions are not welcome. I actually had the co-admin tell me that my opinions were not welcome. I think the discussion was about welfare. I am sorry, but I have strong feelings that if someone is on welfare they are not lazy or on drugs and that their children deserve to be able to have an occasional treat.  You don’t know their situation.  I tried to ignore it. 

When I would talk to the leader I would normally receive an almost automated response: Thanks for your concern Sheila, I will look in to it. Thanks.  Even though, nothing was ever done. If it was someone who was a moderator or really good friends of the owner it was swept under the rug.  If it was someone else then they would get in “trouble.”  It was all such a headache and it reminded me of being in Jr. High school arguing about what boys you could like or who you can be friends with. I am so glad that I am not involved in that group anymore. There were so many toxic discussions on there.  Have you ever experienced anything like this?

Monday, March 12, 2012

Women, Children and Debt





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Purse Confessions


I have a confession to share with you. I used to never carry a purse. Sure when I was a little girl I did because that is what most little girls do. I had a pink purse that I carried when I was young, and I left it at Flakey Jakes once. I used to love Flakey Jakes it was the best burger joint in the world. I was devastated when I lost my pink purse. My mom called them and they asked for some kind of identification because anyone could really call up somewhere and say I lost my purse and then claim someone else’s property. So, the only thing I carried in the purse was a tube of Neosporin. What kind of weird child does that? Well my childhood best friend’s dad used to work at the place they made Neosporin and I am thinking that he gave me that tube, as I don’t remember purchasing it myself.  I was able to get my purse and my coveted tube of Neosporin back, in case you were concerned.

I think I might have carried a purse occasionally in high school, but nothing to where I can remember. I just put money in my pocket and that worked for me. When I got my bank account, I carried my debit card in my pocket along with ID. I didn’t even have a wallet. Most women’s wallets are huge and I didn’t wanna try and cram that in my pocket, I would look like a clown.  I finally bought a wallet in 2005. It was more of a billfold with Strawberry Shortcake on it. I still have this wallet, even though it is almost 7 years old. It has corduroy on it and it is still in perfect condition just a little dirty in spots. I would carry in my back pocket, when I first bought it. I still didn’t carry a purse.  They are just something extra you have to deal with, and I was fine as long as I had pockets.  When I was married, I had my ex-husband carry my cards for me in his wallet.

Right after Noah was born, my mom came to me, and sat me down and we had a talk. She said “It’s time for you to start carrying a purse.” She was right, babies have a lot of stuff, I would have probably been happy with just a diaper bag, but sometimes I didn’t wanna lug the diaper bag around to the grocery store or whatever. I wanted to be able to throw a diaper in my purse and be done with it.  So, my mom gave me an old purse. It is a Jones New York purse and even though it is 8 years old it is still in really good condition. It only has a few stains and no rips or tears.  I still am using this purse and despite the ridicule of family members about my Strawberry Shortcake wallet I still use that too.  Occasionally I get compliments from cashiers about it. It’s cute and practical for me.  My sister went as far as to buy me a “big girl” wallet, I never used it, it is sitting in a drawer, with the tags still on it.  There isn’t a change place in my wallet so on the bottom of my purse there are coins, which also works for me.

I am not someone who cares about if they have a Prada or a Coach purse. I don’t have a purse collection. I haven’t spent hundreds on purses. Heck it was a hand me down, and it is still a great purse. I have thought about buying a backup purse, but now I think about it, I have a lot of memories with this purse. Maybe someday it will fall apart and I will get a new one. Otherwise I think I will keep using it. It may as well be my trademark accessory.