When I was growing up it was normal for teachers to hug students, to consul them if they were upset. I am not talking about what I learned as bad hugs but good hugs. I loved hugging my teachers; I have always been an affectionate person. It was something considered acceptable. I am sure that somewhere there were children being sexually abused by teachers both male and female but really now days teachers are no longer allowed to hug their students without made to look like a villain. School nurses were allowed to check children for illnesses and other things going on, but now it is considered wrong and immoral. Parents throw fits and threaten lawsuits for ridiculous reasons
Every time I think about this I think about my study hall teacher Mr. Brown. He was awesome I loved having study hall with him because he didn’t really care what the students did as long as they weren’t causing problems. Every other day, I would go to his class, see him and we would hug. Mind you Mr. Brown at the time was in his 60’s or perhaps 70’s he was like a grandpa. We would say “I love you” in a goofy tone. It probably looked like we were having an affair but of course we were not. That’s just something silly we used to do. It was all in good fun. That was 12 years ago. If that happened today, Mr. Brown would be an inmate in the county jail and Nancy Grace would be pounding down my door for my comment.
Now I am not pulling the wool over my eyes, I do understand that tragedies of sexual abuse do happen. I don’t however think that if you want to hug a teacher or another adult that it is happening necessarily. I think that it depends on the situation of course. I think that a teacher should be about to hug a student if they are having a bad day. You back when a hug could make a world of difference or make you feel much better. I think that a nurse should be able to do their job and care for a student and protect the other students without being accused of doing something wrong. The point is yes I know there are bad people out there but not everyone is bad or have malicious intentions.
In a over sexualized society, it is important that children are educated about what kinds of touch are acceptable. When I was in brownies, a woman came to a troop meeting and explained to us about good hugs and bad hugs. What kinds of touches were acceptable and what was not. She had dolls and everything. It really was something that stuck with me because I can remember it 20 years later. I can even tell you where I went to dinner that night.
I remember learning about sex ed in school. I remember I was in 4th grade and we were separated from the boys and taught about periods and age appropriate things about sex. Nothing glamorous about it, just the logistics of how it works, I am not sure if I was a sheltered child growing up in the safe community I grew up in or what but, it wasn’t a huge thing. I know I didn’t know what the kids these days know now. I think that sex has really become an issue that is being portrayed as fun or cool or whatever people are saying through TV and music. I am not blaming TV per say but even parents that monitor their children closely are being exposed to things they shouldn’t be. There are also parents that don’t care about what their kids do or hear and let them roam around like an adult.
I am not a prude by any means but I think that it should be education about it, but not to the point that they know everything before they are 13. I believe that the lines of communication should be open because everything is over sexualized now. It is sad. There are in fact pedophiles out there. Many of them unfortunately but, not everyone is one. I urge you to talk to your children about good touch and bad touch and your children can come to you about anything or if they have questions. Don’t make them feel like it is wrong to come to you. Talk in a very calm tone and answer their questions to the best of your ability. Love them unconditionally.