Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The best thing that anyone has done for me

I am in a nostalgic mood tonight. I am listening to old mix cds I have from 4 or so years ago. I decided to tell you all about the best thing that anyone has ever done for me. I have lost contact with her but I will never ever forget what she did for me. In July 2003 I had a miscarriage. I was devastated completely and utterly devastated. All my life all I wanted to be was a mother. Most girls were playing with Barbies I was playing with dolls. I owned like 3 barbies in my life. They weren’t my thing.

When I was in the hospital, I found out that they do a memorial service at a cemetery where they cremate the baby’s ashes and put them all other and bury them in a cylinder a couple times a year. That was something that I really wanted for my child. It was something tangible to hold on to. I could go visit. It really helped me with my healing process.

In October 2003 I met a girl named Charlene. She was dating a guy that my ex was in a band with. Ok it was more like jam sessions but they called it a band at this point. Charlene came with Caleb to band practice one day. I stayed home and hung out at the apartment. My ex called me and told me about her. She ended up coming over that night. She was crying. Crying really hard. I sat down next to her and rubbed her back and reassured her that everything is ok and we talked. I thought I would never see her again. It was one of those random meetings. I hardly ever went to band practice with him so I just thought oh she was nice. Charlene and Caleb were planning on going to Florida a day or two later.

I had gotten an invitation for the memorial service so of course I wanted to go. We got there and my mom and sister were there and his whole family was there. I couldn’t take it. I was crying so hard I couldn’t see. I was looking down at the ground because I couldn’t look at anyone. I saw a hand give me some Kleenex and I looked up to thank them and it was Charlene. I met this girl one night and she was there for me the moment I needed a friend. I was amazed that she would take time out to be there for me. Especially when they were supposed to be in Florida.

At the end of the service, she and I were joking about hiding in the trunk and going to Florida with them and the guys said we didn’t have to hide in the trunk and we left for Florida at midnight.

After that we were always together. We were best of friends. We did all kinds of things together. We would go on little adventures together. We would stay up late and go to a restaurant for hours. They passed out ribbons at the memorial and she hung hers from her rear view mirror with a message to my child. Every time I saw it I thought about the wonderful thing she did and about my baby.

She had the opportunity to go to Germany for a semester of college and when she came back she had changed. She was like a stranger again. I had hung out with her a handful of times before we just stopped contacting each other. I miss her. We had some really fun times together. People change and times change. I just hope she is happy and all that.
Honk Honk. Beep Beep.

1 comment:

  1. That is a very touching story Sheila. I had 2 early miscarriages this year so I empathize with you. I am glad you were able to have a memorial and a friend who stood by you.