Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Regret

I’ve always said if I had a time machine to change something in my life, I wouldn’t change anything.  When you change the smallest thing, your life would be different. That’s called the Butterfly Effect. However, that’s not the truth anymore. I would definitely go back to the time I hurt someone and stop myself from making that huge mistake. I find myself thinking about what I should have done. I have gone through the scenarios every which way repeatedly. How I shouldn’t have made it such a big deal when it wasn’t in reality. It was because I was dumb. I was scared.  In reality, I had never felt this way before and it scared the crap out of me. 

I have this hamartia, a fatal flaw, that I push people away before they can hurt me. It stems from my childhood and my dad. I am aware of this problem. I was really working on it, but it was just too much. That’s no excuse though because I’m an adult and I shouldn’t have done that. I acted like a jerk. It was my fault. I should have been an adult instead of being a baby throwing a tantrum. I’m not going to make excuses for my behavior. I was wrong. 

I shouldn’t have done many things. I shouldn’t have treated him that way. I shouldn’t have said the things I said. I should have conducted myself in a mature manner. I should have expressed my feelings in a way that would have been kind. I should have stopped right away. I didn’t. I am not good at many things and people are one of them. I shouldn’t have openly talked about my feelings with others. I should have just left it alone. I am not sure why I decided to air our business. There are many things I could have done differently. I chose not to do them for whatever reason. I now have to accept the consequences. 

When you act like a child, you are punished like a child. My punishment is I lost my best friend. One of my favorite people. Someone I grew so fond of, I honestly had trouble functioning without. It’s not that we had this beautiful love story because we did not. It was not even something close, much to my chagrin. I totally romanticized it. I fell hard and fast.  I had never met anyone like this person before. We became instant best friends. We grew so close so fast. It was a whirlwind and I loved every moment. It’s like when someone becomes a big part of your life, they become part of your routine. The hole that has been left behind is not something I ever want to feel again. I’m working on expressing myself better and not allowing my frustrations to cause me to get angry. I am also working on thinking before I speak while angry. I don’t get angry a lot. It takes a lot. 

I’m very weird and I don’t super connect with people like that often. For some reason my brain and mouth have some sort of disconnect maybe from anxiety. I am not great verbally. My thoughts get jumbled. We spent a lot of the time talking. This was a challenge for me. I did feel extremely comfortable and that I could share anything. I miss it so much. It’s not that we had these philosophical conversations about the universe or anything, it was special.  Mostly I rambled about stuff. It was magical. 

 I am still plagued with regret and forgiveness is not an option. I know this. I hate this but I must accept it. It’s just how it is. I screwed up and now I am deserving of what my actions caused. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t hurt. Oh it hurts so bad. It would probably be a nine on the emotional pain scale. It’s my doing and my fault. If I wouldn’t have acted uncouthly. If I would have kept my feelings in check like I said I could. If I could do anything to change my actions, I would. If I could be forgiven, I would be blessed. 

There’s no point in living with what ifs, it not going to change anything in the past. It can only teach you for the future.  I am still learning from this experience and this loss. I am still processing my feelings. I’m very sensitive so my emotions can be a lot. 

So far I have learned to not be so afraid and worried. Most of the time it’s not real. Fear is not real. I have also learned that not everyone will hurt you and never sabotage something amazing because you are scared of getting hurt. It only makes it inventible. I will 100% regret whatever I say that isn’t kind every single time. Lessons I’ve learned from him are be kind. I have always been very kind but he made me want to be extra kind. Be brave. Be fearless. Be yourself. Actions have consequences. 

Thursday, March 19, 2020

Using messaging platforms to reach customers

This is a sponsored post for Diamond Links,

When you are running a business, it’s so important to be able to communicate with your customers. You probably have social media and a newsletter to share your latest news and sales. Newsletters are great for conveying sales and coupons. Oddly enough not everyone has social media but almost everyone has an email address. One of the things we value these days is being able to share our opinions about everything. 

People want to be heard and acknowledged. Having a good messaging system can help you be in touch with your customers. Most people don’t like talking on the phone. There’s long wait times and it takes time and you can’t go on with your day. People want to just get their concerns met and go on with their day. They don’t want to have to explain the same thing to five different people. One of the great things about a messaging platform is that you will have records of everything and you can quickly access the information. You would also need a good IPX. You would be able to track if certain customers have repeat problems or if there’s anything serious going on.  I really don’t like having to spend a ton of time talking to customer service people, it gives me anxiety. If I can do it online, I will. It’s also easier for parents with kids who need to be attended to. It’s easier to multitask when you aren’t talking on the phone or put on hold.  

I would love for more people to contact brands and give them compliments some times. It’s so easy to say something negative to a brand, you sometimes forget to give them praise. I think it would raise employee moral and give them some good feedback. Did you know people are much more likely to leave a negative review than a positive one? That also makes it hard when you are reading reviews about brands or items. You really have to be constructive. 

Having a messaging platform is a good idea because the customer or client can quickly convey the concern and you can help provide a solution. I read a lot of reviews for various things, quite a few of them are regarding customer service Mostly things like they never responded or they didn’t listen to the concerns.  Sometimes issues happen with products in shipping or in manufacturing and the best product sometimes doesn’t arrive. Your customers need to be able to efficiently reach you. 

It’s crazy to think about how much customer service has changed in the last ten years. You could call a brand and give them feedback. You would have to wait on hold until a customer service representative was available to take your call. You also could send an email or fill out a form, but that didn’t always mean you would hear back. Now if you have a problem, you hop on the chat and talk live to someone who can take your feedback or even help you troubleshoot. Being able to troubleshoot in real time is important. 

It’s saved my insanity a few times with my cable provider.  I would rather be told how to fix something if I can than have a technician come and fix it for me. Taking care of your customers to try and satisfy them is as important as having a great product. Remember that people talk and share their experiences. 

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

First Generation American

This is a sponsored post for Diamond Links

I take immigration very seriously. You may not know this but I am first generation American on my dad’s side. My dad’s family is from Ireland and England. As of right now, the only people that live in the United States are my sister and I and our children.  My cousin was also born in the US, but he has lived in England for a long time. My dad doesn’t even live in the United States anymore. The story about how they all ended up in America is really interesting.

 My Grandpa Bill was a doctor of physiology in England. The United States government wanted our family to move to America because he was a brilliant physiologist. My family immigrated in the 1960’s. There was some kind of agreement where his family could live here and work here and have all the benefits of being American citizens. I didn’t know until much later, that my dad wasn’t actually an American Citizen. I found out when he had moved back to England. He had a social security number and could do everything but never had actual citizen status but was here legally. I am not totally sure honestly on all the details as he was just a kid when they moved here. From what I remember being told it was a very special deal and my Grandpa Bill was extremely smart and very accomplished. 

Not all families have this kind of luck when it comes to immigration. A lot of immigration is out of necessity due to conditions of their countries or even safety. With the Corona Virus outbreak in China, I can see Chinese nationals wanting to leave. The United States is a land of hope and freedom to so many. The US has a lot to offer to people. While my family’s story is unique most people will need to get an immigration attorney like Jean Danhong Chen. Immigration attorneys help with getting green cards, citizenship, visa applications, naturalizations and deportation issues. I am a firm believer in having legal representation when you are dealing with something as important as your status in a country. You also have to do things a certain way for when you want to travel abroad so you can come back to the US. I can’t watch Lock Up Abroad on tv because I am afraid that will make me not want to travel. 

On my mom’s side I know that my ancestors  came over from Ireland on a boat. I know they didn’t have any special deals and an immigration lawyer would have been helpful for them because the Irish were not really liked back then. They had a reputation of being drunks and lazy and places would not even hire people because they were Irish. I’ve also known people who have gone through the whole immigration process themselves. One of them was from Korea. She moved here in sixth grade. She went through the whole citizenship process and is now a US citizen. It was really interesting to learn about the process from an actual person and not from a textbook or television. She even had the opportunity to have a legal American name, even though I always called her birth name and she didn’t mind. 

I am very thankful that I was born in the United States and I don’t have to deal with those struggles. I feel for everyone who has to go through the immigration process for whatever reason they have.